if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
