ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
All I want is dick and wine.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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