just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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