I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
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