i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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