The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
