I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
