Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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