I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
