Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
