Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
