he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
