she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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