Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
