Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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