You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
