i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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