Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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