So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
