Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
