i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
That accounts for only three of the penises
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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