At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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