Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Screwed.edu
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
