I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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