Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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