i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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