dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Who put my cat in the fridge?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
