What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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