Well douche your snatch and let's go!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
