What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
