Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
