Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
