Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
