Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
