I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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