He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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