She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
