trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
