Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You don't make any sense
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