you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize