That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
