He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
