If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
