He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
