What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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