that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
