Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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