he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
