Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
