oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
